So after Christmas, many people get the blues or the boxing day jitters.  There is so much excitement and anticipation beforehand that after Santa has come, all the presents are open and the turkey is eaten we tend to be either nostalgic or let down. The question begs to be answered, ‘Is it worth it’?

Having 4 children, 1 grandson, 6 siblings on my side, 4 on my husbands, there is a lot of work put into getting Christmas ready.  I had all 3 Christmas’s here. Christmas eve is my husbands’ side, Christmas day is my immediate family including my children, any of their significant others and hubby. Boxing day is my side of the family, including nieces and nephews and grandparents. I was extremely busy this year. We had people sleeping over, meals to make, presents to buy and wrap and of course doing the ‘extra’ cleaning we all do when we have company coming.  So using the word ‘busy’ is truly an understatement.  But in truth when it is all said and done, can say I am sad it is over? Yes, I can. I get depressed that the excitement is gone. However, I am also relieved that I can slow down and relax.

The one thing Christmas always reminds me of is the fact that I have a wonderful family.  Both immediate and extended and for that, I am very grateful. Without all the hustle and bustle of Christmas, I wouldn’t get the chance at least once a year to see them all and love them and see their smiling faces.  And that, in turn, gives me a sense of joy and peace that lasts until the next time we meet.  In fact over the last 5 years or so it has made it so I have been intentional about visiting family even more throughout the year.  Christmas has become a time of knowing what is important which is not the presents or the food, but family!

When it is all said and done, your friends are great, and they love you because they think your special. But your family loves you in spite of the fact that you are not always at your best.  They know our good and our bad and come around anyway.  That’s family and that is amazing.

*http://www.mamatoga.com/2012/09/stages-naptimes/

I remember as a child asking “Why” I had to do something and getting the typical “Because I said so” reply.  Because of that, I had decided early on that I would only use that phrase when I had already explained my reasons for doing something. My thought process is that this would be better than never having anything ever explained which just made me feel like I was a nuisance for wanting to understand something.

When a parent or anyone in authority says “because I say so”, without giving an explanation, they are in essence saying, “I am the parent, you are the child and you do not need to know the reason why”. That is not a way to encourage learning and growth. However, if you have already given a reason as to why you have a certain set of instruction and the child continues to question you then this shows a lack of respect and does need to be addressed as well.

By answering the question with your reason, just once and then saying “Because I am the parent and I said so” gives the impression that their question is important, however, even if you do not like the answer or my reason, it is the way it will be.

After years of struggling with this, I also realized that sometimes the children are asking because they don’t understand the answer, not always because they are questioning my reasoning.  So the lesson learned was to understand why the child is asking the question again.

You will find this is a common thread throughout life.  Not just of your children but of all people. What we think is the reason someone may be asking something, or questioning you on something, might not be to question you or your answer.  It’s also not to be a pain in the butt and see how far they can take it.

It is possible that the first time you explained, it was explained in a way they didn’t understand.

Therefore you need to then ask the question ‘Why are you asking me this again?’

*http://www.icommcorp.com/why-integrated-communications/question-mark/

An acquaintance had decided to give his daughter $100.00 for her first tooth.  If you are like me, you thought, “What the heck, why so much?”  Shortly after I read that on his Facebook post, a question came up on a mommy site I frequent that asked,  ‘How much are you suppose to give a child for their first tooth from the tooth fairy?’ Fair question if the reason you are asking is so that you are not giving any more or less than other parents.  However, due to my ‘friend’ giving $100 I realized there is a much bigger issue here.

I grew up in a generation where our parents didn’t have much to give, so we got 25 cents from our tooth fairy. We were happy with that because we didn’t get many things up and above what was needed except for birthdays and Christmas.  But now times are different.  We as parents have more to give and so we do.  My question would be “Are we doing more harm than good?”

What is the whole point of giving money to a little one who lost a tooth and making them believe it was the tooth fairy? I looked it up on Google and there are so many possible answers to the origin of this. However, for this article, I would like to just simply state it is to help the child be excited about losing teeth instead of being fearful of it. So if that is the case can I just say that the amount you give is not important unless we as parents make it important?  Yes, your child might put the money in a piggy bank and save it and or be allowed to spend it.  And they might be the type of child that will spend it on someone else instead of themselves.

But the point I would like to make here is that rewarding your child with large amounts of anything is going overboard and if you keep doing so in any area of your giving to them, then you will wonder why your child ‘expects’ so much when they are older.

Teaching a child how to earn money is a more valuable lesson. There are many, many ways to do this. Learning that you get things when you earn them is the lesson that needs to be taught. If we are going to complain that we live in a ‘silver platter’ generation then we need to understand we are the only ones to blame for it. To clarify, if we have ever thought or said ‘Do you expect me to hand that to you on a silver platter?, then you know what I am talking about.  Let’s stop this generation from thinking they don’t have to do anything and can still get everything they want.  This is our fault and only we can put a stop to it.

*http://www.dietsinreview.com/slideshows/celebrities-wed-like-to-see-lose-weight/celebrities-wed-like-to-see-lose-weight/